The question above is probably the most asked question any parent will ask when they go through a divorce. Although some ignorant people think it is all about money and material objects, any parent knows it is about the welfare of their kids. The problem is, your children will always be affected by your divorce. How can they not be? At a young age, their view of love and relationships is warped. Plus, the two people they love most in the world are ending their relationship. That, however, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get a divorce. It is unrealistic to be expected to live in a loveless marriage, and your kids will recover after time.
Luckily, there are a few things you can do in the short-term that will minimize the damage.
Hire A Good Lawyer
Surely a lawyer is the last person who will have the children’s welfare at heart, right? All they want is the best settlement for themselves and the law firm. In fact, that is not the truth. Maybe there have been renegade lawyers in the past, but, on the whole, lawyers want the best for their clients. Any child custody lawyer who doesn’t is not a true family lawyer. The best lawyers will get the best deals for their clients. And, when you have your children’s interest at heart, that means an equal custody agreement.
Let Them See Their Dad As Much As Possible
Maybe you think that your children’s best interests are solely with you, their mother? For the most part, kids are better off with their mother in the family home. Still, that doesn’t mean you can take care of every aspect of their lives. Whether you like it or not, they love their father and will need to see him on a regular basis. As long as he is available, try and allow your partner access to the kids on a weekly basis. That way, the children won’t feel the impact of the divorce as much.
Never Talk To Them About The Details Of Your Divorce
The odds are that the divorce is going to be mentally demanding. All divorces are different, but this is one factor that stays the same regardless. As a result, you might develop feelings of anger and bitterness towards your soon to be ex-spouse. Although that is normal, you should not vent your anger to your kids. Firstly, they are only children, and they won’t know how to process the information. Secondly, it will break their hearts to hear their mother criticising their father. Keep the divorce as far away from their door as possible.
Try And Keep Their Routines The Same
So much will change in a short space of time that children will automatically feel different. Change is not a good thing for kids because they don’t know how to process their new feelings. Because something that is integral to their life is about to end, it is important that their daily routine stays the same. Hopefully, going to a friend’s house or playing sport will add some much-needed normality and take their mind off the divorce.
Everyone needs an environment in which they can vent, especially children. Kids like to bottle up their feelings, and that can suffocate them. A couple of sessions of psychiatry a week should help them vent their feelings to an unbiased source.