Image sourceWe’re pretty sure that you know how complex life is. Not just for you, but for everyone. One of our favorite words is, in fact, sonder, which is the recognition that each passerby has a life as complex and vivid as your own. Life is emotionally charged, exhausting, stressful, complicated and entangled, and one of the most profound examples of this is looking after an elderly parent.
There is nothing nice about seeing the person that brought you up become reliant on you, and a lot of the time you will feel alone, stressed and in need of a few words of advice. The latter point is where e come in.
You Have Got To Accept It
The roles have reversed. That can be an almightily hard pill to swallow but swallow it you must, because the moment your parent starts having to depend on you, in any way whatsoever, the relationship you knew is over, it has been flipped on its head. Everything you knew may need reassessing; emotions, roles, responsibilities, everything.
Let Them Have Control
If you think this newly reversed paradigm is hard for you, imagine it from their perspective. They are losing their autonomy and there is very little they can do about it. That is why the professionals at www.nextavenue.org is so important that you let them keep as much of the control as possible, even if it is only in perspective. After all, perspective is reality. Don’t order them about and don’t make decisions without them.
Seek All The Help You Can
This isn’t just because your parent may well need professional assistance, it is also because you will need that support too. As the experts at www.alphaomegahospice.com explain, a profession care service will be able to help you achieve the compassion levels that stress can sometimes take away from you. But it isn’t just about getting support for your parent; it is important that get spousal support. They will be your shoulder and, more often than not, they will have a more comfortable relationship with your parent than you do.
Don’t Be So Sensitive
If there is anyone in this world who knows exactly how to press your buttons, it is your family; your siblings and parents. You know this, and they know this, which is why you really need to do all you can to protect those buttons and not be so sensitive when they are pressed, for fear of going insane. The reason why your parents may try and press these buttons, even if it just once, is because they have lost the one thing they had over you; authority, and that is where button pressing comes in. Don’t let them do this. Your emotional well-being is just as much on the line as theirs.
Don’t Succumb To Guilt
When you are caring for an elderly parent, you can start to feel guilty for having fun, which is something you experience when suffering from bereavement. As such, make a point out of having some fun with your parent. Rent a funny film, their favorite classic, and dress up like the characters. Get out the old photo albums, or those home videos. Just make sure you have fun. You both need it and deserve it.
